a Scarlet D
My mental health journey
about
Category: Disability
-
Today made my top five worst days. That includes attempts, hospitalizations, and a brutal beating by drunk Robert. Like it takes a village to do some things, it takes many days to make a worst day. Like recent trends, this wasn’t a dramatic crisis. It was a building of horrible that reached a crescendo. Didn’t…
-
tl;dr Whining and self sabotage. Pretty sure it’s going to be boring for you all. The psychologist I was talking to about EMDR turned out to be a marriage and family counselor who has EMDR as one of his skills. I have a call with him Wednesday where I’ll be letting him go. Appointment with…
-
tl;dr summary at the end of each section. VNS We increased the power to 1.75 mA, the next will be 2.0 in a couple weeks or so. I was pretty much tolerating 1.50 but it was still painful and the heartburn was annoying. At 1.75 the pain has increased to something that makes me gasp…
-
Friday, 2 hours of sleep. Saturday, hadn’t gotten to sleep until something before 5am. Woke up at 6:40pm. Couldn’t get out of bed until 8: 00. Crap. I just lost a day. slept 14? hours. This is unbearable. All I want is to not exist. Normally sleeping is my way of having that for a…
-
Stealing the title and just a bit of my content from my travel blog here. So if you’re reading this getting upset at my self plagiarism, just read on. It’ll get better. Or worse. On the 10,000 mile road trip I was lucky enough not to experience any tickets, breakdowns, or crashes. Settling back into…
-
The fact that I don’t tag these well makes this a lamely titled entry. It’s been a minute since I posted, and honestly it’s just the same old same old. I think I got a 26 on the PDQ-9, which ties a personal best. TMS hurts my head and my soul. Seriously it’s like tiny…
-
It’s just turning into one big panic attack. Can’t breathe, anxious, worrying. Getting used to days where I don’t eat at all. Left (graduated?) the partial hospitalization program because it’s only 15 days long. I have transitioned into the day program. Tuesday Wednesday Thursdays from 12:30 to 3:00. For like, ever. Seems like a great…
-
Just got out of ketamine and had a follow-up with psychiatrist at the treatment resistant depression clinic. He wasn’t suggesting I go inpatient, he was asking for a reason not to do it. I was honest with him and we eventually settled on me remaining at home with check-ins. But it was touch and go…
-
I added that stupid “Positive” section last post and I guess I have to keep up with it. I’d say it might be DBT. I’m not knowingly using tools yet, but when I have to report in I can usually find a couple that I did use. Happy?
a Scarlet D 