a Scarlet D

I may not be Kerouac but I am indeed on the road. It’s been fun, exciting, tiring, surprising, spiritual, and tough. I was great until I got to two different cities where I had history. It was so nice to see them again and eat at restaurants I missed, and things like that. But I stayed in each town probably 12 hours too long. The last one actually had me questioning the choice to make this trip, and I got pretty deep into my head

A good nights sleep helped a lot, and the next city I went to was one of those “Disneyland for adults” kinds of cities. Oddly, even though I don’t gamble or drink anymore, I enjoyed myself and was quite rejuvenated.

Tonight I visited with family and had a wonderful time. Some of my favorite people ever, and great to hang out with. I was helping fill in my “file” they had and we talked about the last 5 years. It was hard to recount, both in terms of bad memory but also details. I probably went too deep, but it was all just answering questions. It has, however, left me pensive. Though I know I’m tired and they doesn’t help, it’s made me create another one of my rules for the road: No Reminiscing! It shouldn’t be hard, as those were the big memory spots, and everything from here on out is brand new or familiar in a general sense. I’m sure I’ll shake off this mood in the morning as I blow out of town to do a marathon driving day – the first of 5 days!

It is a bit disheartening, as I meant to leave myself behind. But of course we bring ourselves with ourselves. My depression has been right behind me like a backpack, not in the forefront but happy to remind me we haven’t succeeding in fixing that. That makes me sad.

Just wanted to tell you about that. Thanks for listening.