a Scarlet D

My psychiatrist helped me change my meds a bit because I wasn’t sleeping. She wanted me to go to sleep earlier, get up earlier, and be active during the day. So we increased the sleepy time med and we increased the stimulation med. Except I feel like it’s all gone south. Because I don’t sleep enough, the sleep meds are still working while I’m awake and then adding the stimulate to that just makes everything swirly and crazy and contradictory. I am working really hard not to cry right now, which is not me. Ironically, these changes were the result of a virtual meeting I had with her last week in which I spent the whole time crying. Again, not really a me thing. I’m having to use the apple dictation which is kind of neat but I couldn’t type, as all the letters were off. It’s like I’m drunk, but I’m not. And I’m gonna have to guess that this is all going well because I can’t read the screen because my eyes are too fuzzy. I’m used to trying med changes, but this one is troubling.. Honestly I feel like Drunk Robert. Not cool. I could revert the change to what it was before. Not that will help the sleep at all, but I don’t think much can help the sleep. A lot of a lot of it is willfulness more than scientific insomnia. Yesterday I visited the old house because both kids were in town. We had a lovely dinner, but I felt like everybody was worried about my stumbling around. Normally it’s me feeling stumbly but nobody else sees it. That night I got the “help your dad out to his car” thing going on. Yes, I drove. But like Geri on facts of life said she’s one of the few people who can drive better than they can walk.

Keyboard and screen are making me frustrated so that’s it.s. Just wanted to complain into the void. Thanks void, ignore the typos