a Scarlet D

I wrote about drowning between therapy sessions. If I miss one, it’s very frustrating. It isolates me further and reminds me that a canceled appointment for anyone else is just that. (And my bad brain tells me I’m not important enough) Like a runner who paces themselves for a rest and reaches that rest exhausted, I’m reaching the appointment exhausted, When canceled, I begin the next waiting ready to drop. Things are very hard these days, and I’m always surprised by how my mood can be broken so easily.

Today my therapist canceled. I’m feeling at sea, disappointed with today’s cancellation after a very long weekend. I do have another session at the end of the week.

But this is an awful long time to be drowning.