Category: depression
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Yeah, I’ll put a trigger warning on this. Depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and casino bingo. I’ve been travelling a lot lately, which is good. I tend to have good days while on a road trip. It’s not a guarantee, but it happens. When I get back from a road trip I do tend to feel…
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I had a call with my psychiatrist today to catch up on meds after my trip. I’m all refilled up for three weeks, and back to where I was before my trip. (I had run out of a few things upon returning, so we’re stabilizing back to my current regimen.). This list is for your…
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This was supposed to be a tiny, short, brief note. RIP travel journal writing for the night Just watched Cast Away (two words), and like any mainstream movie there’s a lesson at the end, or some revelation or reconciliation. I connected with Tom Hanks because I feel like I’ve been a castaway for some years…
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Just another post of complaints. Getting tired of that, among other things. The med changes aren’t going well. I meet with the whole care team (GP included) this week and maybe we’ll sort it out. I don’t know or care so much anymore. Or I don’t know what to feel. The Mirapex has been a…
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— Kay Redfield Jamison I’m pretty sure I’m off my meds. Just some of them or 3/4 of them. Maybe. Given the symptoms or side effects or whatever I feel like it’s some of the new ones. I stock my pill cases monthly, and you never seem to run out on the same day. So…
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I’m seeing this psychologist who is taking me through a ten module program of Positive Affect Treatment (PAT). The idea is that we normally attack the bad problems of depression, but this program tries to highlight the good elements of your life, highlight them for you and help you be happier than ever before. I…
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Today made my top five worst days. That includes attempts, hospitalizations, and a brutal beating by drunk Robert. Like it takes a village to do some things, it takes many days to make a worst day. Like recent trends, this wasn’t a dramatic crisis. It was a building of horrible that reached a crescendo. Didn’t…
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tl;dr Whining and self sabotage. Pretty sure it’s going to be boring for you all. The psychologist I was talking to about EMDR turned out to be a marriage and family counselor who has EMDR as one of his skills. I have a call with him Wednesday where I’ll be letting him go. Appointment with…
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Back down to 23 on the phq-9, was hanging around 25 earlier this week. Not sleeping, too busy or not busy enough, adjusting stimulation meds, plus the five minute stabbing just added up to crazy. Writing this post while in the TMS chair between head tappings every 20 seconds and neck stabbing every five minutes.…
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tl;dr summary at the end of each section. VNS We increased the power to 1.75 mA, the next will be 2.0 in a couple weeks or so. I was pretty much tolerating 1.50 but it was still painful and the heartburn was annoying. At 1.75 the pain has increased to something that makes me gasp…
a Scarlet D 