a Scarlet D
My mental health journey
about
Category: Uncategorized
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On the way back into one of our rooms at the Day Program, I noticed something on the white board next to the door. It’s my elephant. When the kids were little I came up with this elephant and a giraffe, and maybe a lion or something. Some doodle I could knock out in one…
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I’m using WordPress for this site, and it’s served me fairly well. Unfortunately, it’s not organized well. There is the list of all posts but that’s just title vomit, and not much help for finding things. I *thought* I had been helping people by telling them to use the search function in the upper right…
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In a post about a million years ago, I referenced something I call “Depression Porn” – I guess you could just say it would be media that’s triggering. After a productive day of being depressed, I thought I’d find a new movie that sounded interesting. A movie that’s been on my watch list has been…
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Last day of PHP and I’m growing increasingly sad about being done. I don’t know what I thought I was going to accomplish here but I guess I was hoping for some sort of miracle. I met some amazing people and got some great therapy out of the therapists. I’m moving on to a day…
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It’s a modern looking pen. The thrust device (I looked up pen nomenclature) was unique, almost a button and a lever combined. Push the button, Click. Push the lever, Click. Click. Orange metallic with black highlights. Normal length for a pen, maybe a little bit thicker. I noticed it the other day. The click, that…
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Came home, went to bed. Likely screwed up tonight’s sleep but nowhere else felt good.
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Check it out, two posts in two days. Lucky you! My feet and legs looked like ribbons unfurling off a spool, and the curtains were paper blowing in the wind. And none of it was how it was supposed to be. – me, an hour ago. I knew something was wrong, going in. It was…
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It’s been quite a few months. I was able to count the life changes on one hand. Each finger represented a different change, any one of which would be major. A new job. A new home. Leaving a long term relationship. A waning Major Depressive Episode. A handful of changes any one of which would…
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It’s been over 7 months since I last posted. Quite a bit has happened, most of it good. At some point my therapy and recovery was for me. Not for therapists or for my family. Not for friends and not for doctors. For me. It. wasn’t immediate, but it was pretty quick. And it didn’t…
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But first, a quick update.. I’m told I’m doing better. I guess I can feel it. Makes the inside harder to deal with sometimes when the outside looks okay. Doing DBT, EMDR, Ketamine and regular therapy. VNS still zapping along. Mostly used to it, sometimes annoyed by it. Very often sounding like Saw Gerrera when…
a Scarlet D 