The plan was:
- A PHP, remote from that same hospital (on the intake call before starting I was answering the nurse’s questions before she finished asking them, I was so familiar with the system)
- Structure my days before the PHP starts, so I don’t just sleep and watch movies
- Follow that with a day program (fewer hours/ fewer days per week)
- Continue with the TRD clinic
- Ketamine treatments
- Continue to apply for the VNS
- Work with my regular therapist on identity, grief, and suicidality. Because the referral never called me back. And my therapist knows me really well.
- Continue with my MD, who will get suggestions from my extended care team
- Work on finding couples therapy for communication
- Live “the good life” with self discipline and compassion
I have described things in the past tense, especially from “before” but it isn’t really the past tense. It’s all still there. But there is a glimmer of hope, challenges to come, and a future I can think of.
I’ll take it.