Wife was going out of town to see Daughter, leaving me alone for a long weekend. I call it a weekend because it’s just like every other day of the week, but there are more people around. This depressive episode is not the first, obviously, because after all, I’m a professional depressive. The people I…

When Saturday comes you’ll understand why it’s the anchor and “peak” low in this journal. Things had been getting steadily worse in the previous few weeks. I went from being in a major depressive episode with little hope to a safety-last, near catatonic state with extreme depression, mounting anxiety, and no hope whatsoever. I had…

. Yes, it’s not in alphabetical order. Use the search function in your browser to find what you’re looking for. Or just read them all, it’s not very long. Roles Inpatient : Treatment for someone who is admitted to a hospital (also see Outpatient). Outpatient : Treatment for someone who is not admitted to a…

Over the course of a week and a half in September 2021 I experienced an all time mental health low, but ended up in a different place, with a bit more perspective than I’ve had in a very long time. This is my memory, to be able to remember. Not just because I have memory…

I haven’t forgotten, I’ve just been writing this whole time. I may have gone a bit overboard, but I hope someone will get something out of it. It’s also for my own failing memory, to save the week’s journey so I can remember it later. I will be putting it out in chapters, so it’s…

I had one of the worst weeks of my life last week, but things are looking up! I’ve added to my maladies: Extreme dizziness/vertigo, muscle weakness, easily exhausted, and I’m unsteady on my feet. But even with all of that (which I’m hoping is temporary) I haven’t felt this good in a very very long…

Likely part 1 of many Some logistical updates. I have a feeling this will be a regular type of post, as there are so many moving parts to the two main therapies. Still no word on what’s between Ketamine and VNS. The notes on my visit mention the possibilities of an Emsam patch, which is…

So I guess it’s official. I have treatment resistant depression (TRD). Today I finished the third and final intake to the MHealth/Fairview Treatment Resistant Depression Clinic. More about that later in the post. You’ve never known me to take the direct or short route, why start now? Treatment-resistant depression (TRD) is defined as major depressive…

Three words I am growing to hate more than any other. While I understand the intent behind them, what I hear is: You’re all done with me for now It’s likely that what you’ve (care team) done for me left me wanting more help You’re going to go on (happily) with your life for the…