What to say and do for your depressed friend

I haven’t seen him more than a handful of times in the last 20+ years, but he’s been a friend since just after high school. I had to miss getting together recently.

Here’s how the email exchange went down:


Sorry for the late reply. Still pretty rough. Did you get together with <otherfriend>? How was he?


Write anytime you can or feel up to it. I think about you often. I hope things improve soon for you.

<otherfriend> ended up staying here for a week. LOL. Was good to see him.

Even if last minute and we just go for a drive or something if there is ever anything I can do, please please don’t hesitate to ask.

Take good care of yourself, my friend!


Thank you.

And I just wanted to say I get people telling me they want to help, or they know how I’m feeling, or here’s a “helpful web page”, etc.  Not disingenuous but sometimes just doesn’t click.  But there’s something about the way you put it that was exactly the right way.  Thank you so much.  I will let you know when I’m up for getting coffee or something, absolutely.  Have a great fourth of July!


That’s because they know they’re supposed to say it and then don’t think about the words they use. They just borrow someone else’s, and it’s not genuine.

With me, I’m serious. I want you to feel better. I’ve been depressed before and that was bad enough. I can’t imagine what you are feeling or dealing with.

Just know I’m here, and that I truly care. If you’re having an awful night and need a new shoulder to (literally) cry on. I’m here. If you just want to sit in silence and watch cute bunny videos on YouTube, I’m all about it. The difference is that this isn’t about me, I’ll be ok. This is about what you need to feel better.

So, like I insisted before…take good care of yourself. Please don’t forget I’m a text away…but be prepared for me to act if you ask for something. 



Thank you.

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