a Scarlet D

Back down to 23 on the phq-9, was hanging around 25 earlier this week.  Not sleeping, too busy or not busy enough, adjusting stimulation meds, plus the five minute stabbing just added up to crazy.  Writing this post while in the TMS chair between head tappings every 20 seconds and neck stabbing every five minutes.

I’m so over everything. Taking meds that mess me up or cause tremors, or acne so bad it makes me not want to be in public. Physical therapies causing me pain, and talking therapies that just seem to go round in circles.  If I just drop all of it, how much worse can it get?

I take the PHQ every day while I’m TMS, with an eye on 24 hours instead of two weeks. When I’m in this level of crisis I usually live in the 20’s.  Never gotten a 27. There is one question that I don’t think I’ll give a full score to, sometime about being a bit manic, which I never do much.

23 from 25. So I guess I’m cured then. I’ll call the clinic to close out my file. FML.