Today is the first anniversary of my suicide attempt. In just this past year alone I have:
- done an inpatient stay
- a partial hospitalization
- an intensive outpatient program
- started ketamine therapy
- a full course of ECT
- had a VNS surgically implanted
- started DBT
- applied for disability.
- Spent 75+ hours in therapy
- Spent 96+ hours in group therapy
- Changed medications at least a dozen times
(And a huge thank you and I love you to my wife. She was by my side for all of that.)
Three years ago last week I attended my first PHP, essentially marking this major depressive episode’s official start, though it was growing for months.
I have a wide variety of feelings this weekend. Hope is not high on the list, but I suppose it counts for something that it is on the list.
It’s been a long three years.