Category: Uncategorized
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(Gonna start with a quick apology for not writing in a while. My writing machine is not working well these days. Also, I’m just out of a Ketamine appointment so if there are misspellings or things that don’t make sense, I will refund the money you spent reading my posts..) A million years ago, give…
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I can’t remember the last time I felt this physically horrible, excepting legendary hangovers of the past. Perpetually awake, the insomnia just drags me through the night. Occasionally sleeping, only to awaken – wide awake for who knows how long. And then I wake up bright and early. Despite my near-legendary ability to sleep in…
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I have a bunch of things going on. Depression, some anxiety, med side effects like dizziness, GI issues, memory issues, and seasonal allergies on top of it all. The depression gets in the way of everything. If I have even the slightest little moment of “less bad” the depressive elements like fatigue, lack of motivation,…
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That was a long winded way to recommend both Big Fish and Little Fish, and maybe hints that Finding Nemo might be worth a watch. Big Fish is a movie that may make you cry with it’s happy ending. Little Fish gives you a sense of the challenges of memory loss. And could give you…
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I was middle aged, lightly active and physically average. Which is to say, I could walk five miles around a local lake without any difficulty. Quick to kid, always ready with a joke or a pun. Mind like a steel trap – able to remember the smallest details, people, places and things. Self taught, learning…
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I haven’t been driving, because I’ve been in the acute portion of ECT. That is, until last week. This week I switch to maintenance ECT once a week. And we’re gently re-introducing driving for me.
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Something has changed in the last few days. This no longer feels like “depression, that old friend” but something less under my control. Scarier, more lonely, no end in sight. I spend much of my time trying to figure out what’s happening or what’s real or not. During Ketamine, I no longer track what’s really…
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Everything I said last week, but double. Between the ECT and the Ketamine I’m constantly bouncing between confusions. Today during Ketamine as soon as it started to hit I was completely lost. I had no idea what was real, what my purpose was, or when the ketamine ended and reality began again. It was not…
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That’s probably the best description of how I feel. The ECT has me confused, hard to follow a train of thought, and scattered. Today I don’t feel like I can do anything. Anything electronic has me drifting off within minutes. My phone, which is normally like an extra limb, is confusing. I’m having trouble finding…
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This week has been one of the toughest. Ever. First, the MAOI – the patch isn’t really helping, so we’re likely going to go over to the oral form, which includes the dietary limitations. This includes items with high tyramine. No, I hadn’t heard of it before either. Things included on the no fly list:…
